Wednesday, October 18, 2006

After all schizofrenia with choosing the courses I have already decided which one to attend.
- main course for shana dalet /קורס ראשי/
-documentary film /קולנוע דוקומנטרי/
- packaging
-history of modern art /תולדות לאומנות עכשוית/

Monday, October 02, 2006

My friend sent it to me. Although Yom Kippur passed, I still consider it funny. Just regret that nobody had sent it to my congregation before the fast, so I wouldn't have had to seat between two pregnant women / who were fasting! / and that 6 year old kid, who was screaming and crying during entire service. Besides headache the noise provoked, the only advantage was that I couldn't hear my stomach rumbling.

SEATING REQUEST FORM FOR YOM KIPPUR

During the last holiday season, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the synagogue. In order for us to place you in a seat which will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following questionnaire and return it to the synagogue office as soon as possible.

I would prefer to sit in the... Check one:

* Talking section
* No talking section

If talking, which category do you prefer?

* Order of interest:)
* Stock market
* Sports
* Medicine
* General gossip
* Specific gossip - choose:

o The rabbi
o The cantor
o The cantor's voice
o The cantor's significant other
o The rabbi
o Fashion news
o What others are wearing
o Why they look awful
o Your neighbors
o Your relatives
o Your neighbors' relatives
o Presidential Election (uh oh)
o Sex (Preference):_____________________
o Who's cheating on/having an affair with whom?
o Other:_______________________________

Which of the following would you like to be near for free professional advice?

* Doctor
* Dentist
* Nutritionist
* Psychiatrist
* Child psychiatrist
* Podiatrist
* Chiropractor
* Stockbroker
* Accountant
* Lawyer
* Criminal
* Civil
* Real estate agent
* Architect
* Plumber
* Buyer (Specify store:_____________
* Sexologist
* Golf pro [tentative; we're still trying to find a Jewish One]
* Other:____________________________

I want a seat located - Indicate order of priority:

o On the aisle
o Near the exit
o Near the window
o In Aruba
o Near the bathroom
o Near my in-laws
o As far away from my in-laws as possible
o As far away from my ex-in-laws as possible
o Near the pulpit
o Near the Kiddush table
o Near single men
o Near available women

* Where no one on the bimah can see/hear me talking during services

* Where no one will notice me sleeping during services
* Where I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon [additional charge]



Orthodox only. I would like a seat where:

o I can see my spouse over the mechitza
o I cannot see my spouse over the mechitza
o I can see my friend's spouse over the mechitza
o My spouse cannot see me looking at my friend's spouse over the mechitza

Please do not place me anywhere near the following people (>(Limit

of six; if you require more space, you may wish to consider another congregation):

o _________________
o _________________
o _________________
o _________________
o _________________
o _________________





Name: ____________________

Pledge: $_________________

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The written word is not the best way of expressing oneself for a person, who mainly deals with images or three dimensional forms. I don’t know whether my writing could hook many readers. I assume that this blog will become a constant struggle between images and words, with the favor of the first ones.
Marjane Satrapi one of my favorite cartoonists once said: “Cartoonists are those people who couldn’t decide whether they prefer word or picture”. My situation is totally opposite. I chose image. Actually it was never a matter of big hesitancy, rather simple decision based on my complete inability to write. The task of creating a blog raised fear in my head. The vision of me sitting in front of the white screen, trying to write at least one phrase, freaked me out.

After shaking off from panic, I decided to face my new role – the storyteller. It is still a very surreal feeling. How else would you describe your emotions? Imagine you are 23 years old girl. And now try to imagine, that you sit in your flat somewhere in Eastern Europe. You look out of the window and you see the panorama of the city that was once called the Paris of East, and now is nothing more than a jigsaw of communist blocks, pseudo-fancy bars and multiplying skyscrapers. Imagine that in less than two weeks you would move from this weird however familiar place to Holon. Most of your friends would ask you where the hell it is, and you would patiently repeat, that in the south of Tel- Aviv. Then they would ask whether are you afraid of katyushot, suicide-bombers and war, and you would piss off immediately cause what they can know about the situation. And now imagine that probably in Holon you would have to answer similar questions. Why did you come? Are you not afraid? Etc.
Start preparing the answers. You would sit in the aircraft thinking “I came to Israel because of sun and oranges” or “because of falafel”, “because of beaches and sea”,
BECAUSE OF, BECAUSE OF, BECAUSE OF.
That word would constantly repeat in your head, making you feel dizzy. The word which was invented to justify our decisions, to explain our steps. Stupid word. You wouldn’t like it. You would rather focus on chicken with rice and vegetables that the flight attendant served you, than on finding reasons of your removal.
Or maybe you wouldn’t, maybe you hate chicken and you love answering the same questions all over again. Maybe by answering you look for the reply, which would finally satisfy yourself?